Michael Lindemuth
who passed away April 27, 2019
Today I gazed at the blossoming trees amidst the sunshine, the birds were singing.
What a pity I thought; because nothing could uplift the darkness of my spirit, the heart so aching in sorrow.
It's been seven years since that dreaded day that my whole world was ripped apart.
So many thoughts and memories permeate my restless mind of how, in an instant,
a careless driver took you away. Nothing can ease my mind's torment that's decimating my soul.
I drown in an endless melancholy that's eating my being, as the world carries on so arrogantly.
This loss is like no other. It's incomprehensible, suffocating.
"A child should never in death precede the parents" they tell me, "time will heal" I hear,
"he's in a better place" they say, "he was given wings".
They all sound like nursery rhymes, naive refrains of fantastical notions.
There is nothing that consoles, no words that can ease this pain. No passage of time will ever heal this wound.
I lay on my bed each night, a tapestry of memories abounds, my pillow soaking up my tears.
I gaze at pictures of you, images frozen in time, and all I can do is weep. The tears I've shed could drown the world.
How do I accept not ever seeing your smile again, not ever feeling your embrace.
With the drudgery of life I carry on whilst a relentless storm plagues my spirit.
My forced, fake smile shrouds my fury. Rage is consuming the person I used to be. I am her no longer.
The day I lost you my beautiful son, I lost me.
~
Desperately missing you always,
Mom, Grandma and Andrew